Category Archives: Uncategorized

What analytics means to me

My precocious son*, ┬áDeuce Davis, got busted yesterday. During math class, rather than dividing fractions like a good boy, he abused the Bring Your Own Device policy. Seems he was tweaking Version 9.2 of his mock draft while finalizing the Browns’ draft board after adjusting the injury risk factor to account for new developments in […]

Happy NFL New Year!

It took me a month to fully clear the psychic stench of the latest cycle of Browns failure, and I’m ready for the next episode, which couldn’t possibly be worse, right? So hours before the new league year starts, let’s get caught up on Browns news from past 35 days. The liberal media blew the […]

How to pay $3 million per reception

The strange case of Dwayne Bowe encapsulates many of the problems with the current Browns. He’s the Chiefs’ all-time receptions leader among wide receivers, a big, athletic target signed in March to a hefty two-year contract that included $9 million in guarantees. Yet he’s been a healthy scratch for most of the season, despite the […]

Off the schneid

Things we now know about the 2015 Browns: Travis Benjamin is back, better than ever. Rabbit can run. Dwayne Bowe so far is perpetuating the absurdly consistent and, frankly, eerie trend befalling the Browns’ wearers of the number 80. We have a better record than (among others) the supposedly strong Ravens, Seahawks, Saints, Colts and […]