I just watched the Browns beat the Bengals on NFL Network’s Game of the Week. This hour review of the 34-17 home win back in Week 6 last season focused on the two head coaches, who were miked up. (The show is set for replay in the wee hours this weekend.)

It reminded me just how glad I am that Butch Davis is history. I’m sure the editing was selective, but, really, most of PHD’s words were nothing more than trite cheerleading:

Before the game: “Get excited, men! That’s why we’re playing! Game day! Whee (ala Howard Dean)!”

Sideline offensive strategy: “How ’bout a six-minute drive for a touchdown, men?”

Sideline defense strategy: “Three-and-out or a turnover right here.”

After Cincy’s Kelly Washington dropped a third-down pass in the end zone: “Good job holding ’em to 3!”

Then, after the offense gets the ball on the Bengals’ 41, runs seven plays, and settles for a field goal from the 6: “Great drive!”

There were also the moments that were more curious.

When Aaron Shea redeemed some poor clock management with a TD grab as time ran out on the first half, with whom does Butch savor the moment? Fellow tight end Steve Heiden. “How ’bout your dawg Shea!” (Heiden was gamely enthusiastic.)

Another time, he not only turned his attention to the crucial issue of supplying Orpheus Roye with chewing gum, he offered him a choice of “bubble gum or regular gum” and even added “want me to peel it for ya?” Can you imagine Parcells or Lombardi doing that?

More seriously, while PHD was thick with the fatuous enthusiasm, he was also quick to get to the root of mistakes. After a botched center/QB exchange, he repeatedly asked Jeff Garcia, “Did the ball get up to you?” Garcia, who had already been called to account for an interception, was reduced to stammering.

That glimpse of instant blame-seeking revealed more morale-sapping potential than any calls for manufactured excitement could counteract.

Remember the Lee Suggs fumble that was returned for the Bengals’ first touchdown? PHD rightly challenged the call, saying Suggs was down by contact. Referee Bill Carollo basically baited the coach: “Which knee?” Butch fell for it: “His right knee.” A minor point perhaps, but from the safety of my couch, I would hope I’d say, “This call is yours, not mine. Don’t go into that booth with blinders on. Take a close look for yourself and you’ll see which knee.”

Anyway, Butch lost the replay and quickly resorted to a shrill whine: “…tried our guts out and to lose it on a call like that…” I understand the frustration, but the Browns were still up a touchdown in the second quarter!

By the way, Shea’s utter demolition of safety Kim Herring was one of the best Browns plays of that sad year, even better than the 99-yard Garcia-to-Andre Davis touchdown.

And Robert Griffith may have leaned the wrong way and allowed a touchdown catch, then later caused an injury to Daylon McCutcheon, but at least he was honest enough to admit it each time. He told the trainer, “I put my cleat right on his nuts.”

It was also great to see Chad “Pepto” Johnson get his come-uppance, but not so great to see Andre King fraternize with him during the game by coveting his shoes.

On the other sideline, Marvin Lewis did have his own annoying quirks, including a voice that broke like a pubescent boy’s when he yelled, but he seemed more engaged with making in-game adjustments. His team’s execution was just poor.

But back to PHD. He knew the score. The Browns had evened their record at 3-3, but addressing the team in the locker room, he was already looking forward. “Can ya back it up? Do it again, two in a row at home?.. .[gathering the team for the final cheer]… One, two, three, Next Step!”

You know the rest of the story. It was his last win as Browns coach. After losing the rematch to the Bengals 58-48 six weeks later, he and his guts were gone.